thank you Janneke for your care during this wonderful experience

I booked​ last week a truffle session in a group in Schiedam, and it turned out I had Marcel and Janneke as sitters.
I prefered a guided session, because I had never done this before​, the package they offer is a secure way of introduction to the chemistry.
I came all the way from Belgium, as only the Dutch Medical Authorities recognize the therapeutic effects.
Media and in general people still are negatively biased against it, but I researched and the science is solidly positive, and...now my own experience as well.
It is the best decision ever, and I actually regret not having it done earlier in my life. 

I chose for Triptherapy.nl, since they demonstrated a lot of experience, and they really take care of the setting.
I mean a nice decoration, comfortable places to sit or lie down, the playlist, the meal and breakfast, a space to feel comfortable.
The sitters also take their job seriously, and are focused on evaluating and guiding us in the right intention with the experience.
They prepare you with good suggestions a few days before, they explain what to expect in the introduction, and resolve your questions.
Everything is well prepared, controlled and predictable, I had the feeling I was in good hands.

Finally i went in and drank the potion at 15h...and got after 20min in a dance of 6h with the mushroom.
I understand now why they say it is a dance.
With my eye pads on (a very important​ item) I saw the most amazing geometry and worlds of wonder.
On the tones of the background music, I was going back and forth between highs and lows.
I entered a reality​, a magic realm, that was filled with fractals, interacting figures and symbols and fluid visions.
I was in complete AWE, amazed and infinitely mesmerized with the beauty and glorious expansion of the senses.
It cannot be described, it must be experienced, I have no words for it, sorry.

The music ​-in my head- was so ​more beautiful and rich, I heard colorful mind blowing new variations on top of ​what was playing, that were inexplicably deeply connected to my emotions and views.
I was on a rollercoaster of emotions, both good and bad ones. You go back and forth, although the top ones dominated my experience this first time. 
I saw the most wonderful detailed architectures of reality, the space expanded to the size of the milky way and designs so otherworldly as i never have imagined before.

One must recognize that there are heroic things in yourself, but also dreadful and ugly sides, and you must absolutely be ready to have these shown to you.
The mushroom tells you a story about yourself in an audiovisual way that is not in words but bears messages, and kind of helps to accept who you are,​ both the good sides, as the bad sides.
To be honest, I saw kingdoms in heaven and high bravery,​ but I also saw the sewers, critters and terror, blood and frightening​, agonizing darkness. 
​Yes, it must be said in this context: the cup of joy goes as deep as the cup of suffering.

It is VERY important to go in with a right mindset where you have true motive and intention to trust the mirror that you will be shown and deal with it.
In the beginning, I asked the shroom to be gentle with me this first time,
and that there would be further occasions to teach me more about the contrarian aspects of my deeper self.​ Talking and being open helps really. 
The nice thing about mushrooms with psilocybin is that it gives you time to explore ​your intended search and to be still conscious in the background.
I did not lose my self or identity, I went to the bathroom twice during the trip, so I had presence of mind, but of course a bit distorted (and delayed) senses.
But you don't want to sit and see the world, i dive in and put on the pads to thrift on the waves of the music, there i wanted to lose myself.
There you forget ​for a while who you are and what you think, you just ARE, sweeping away on a journey full of wonder and sheer bliss.

Despite the negative sides i ​was shown of​, I am VERY grateful for the overall experience. It is -utterly- unforgettable and enriching my life.
​I truly believe also in the therapeutic effects as i felt in a dialogue with myself, and i was shown through emotions and things lessons to learn,
​obstructions to surpass, and it is kind of cleansing, it goes with a great deal of relief. I definitely feel like I need a few months to integrate the experience.
I have not a lot of traumas, so ​I am thankful for the positive experience, but i can imagine that if you have issues,
that the resolution and the inner struggle against fears or demons can be a confrontational experience in the arena of healing that one enters.
​That is why music is SO important during this experience, it makes you cannot be stuck, you WILL move on and give a pace to the journey.
​It IS a very personal experience, but the stories we shared afterwards have a lot of commonalities, it appears we enter a realm, or we react similarly.

​I wrote down the evening before what I desired to achieve with this trip, and -in retrospect- i got in fact an unexpected, but so deep, answer to it.
​Am I the same person? Yes, there is a continuity in my identity. No, because my personality is more aware, more sensitive.
This is so much more than the rush of an attraction park or skydive, although some may approach it as recreational, I see it really as something divine,
with meaning and incredible depth. I literally wept at the overwhelming geometry, beauty and greatness of the universe.
​It made me feel so small and yet so all encompassing connected to everything at the same time, it is hard to explain the emotions in written words.
​
​I am grateful to the organisers, they do a job that I consider now truly as the missionaries of awareness.
They really are -in a sentimental way said- beacons of light, supporting people with finding wholeness, in our fragmented, superficial consumerism materialistic society.
​You only understand the importance and the societal value if you have experienced it.
​To all of you out there, don't wait till you are 50, like me, with a gift to yourself.